How to Help a Loved One Having Suicidal Thoughts
Date Posted: July 18, 2022
Posted In: News,
From New York Times: Emily Nixon was 34 the first time she tried to take her own life, in 2014. She had wrestled with depression most of her life and was prescribed anti-depressants at 19. But she often forgot to take her medication, and she drank too much alcohol. Life was, she said, “overwhelming.”
“Everything felt hopeless, despite all my credentials and all I’ve done in my career,” said Ms. Nixon, now 42 and a registered nurse in Mount Pleasant, S.C. “I felt like I was a burden to my mom, my family. I thought my daughter would be better off without me.”
Ms. Nixon’s suicide attempt came as a shock to her mother, Susan Tolle, who had no idea that her daughter, who lived five hours away, was in so much pain. Nor did she know how to help.
“I remember saying to my husband, ‘What do parents do?’” said Ms. Tolle, 70, a retired human resources executive in Statesville, N.C. “Emily was an adult. She was divorced and had a child.”
Suicide affects people of all backgrounds and nearly all ages. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it is the second leading cause of death among individuals 10 to 34, and the fifth among those 35 to 54. In 2020, nearly 46,000 people took their lives in the United States, and overall attempts have risen in the last decade.
Family members often want to help a loved one who is struggling with suicidal thoughts or attempts — a complicated situation made even more challenging when the person is an adult. Parents of young children, after all, are legally responsible for them and can make most decisions about their well-being, which could include hospitalization. But you can’t force an adult to get treatment.
“With adults, it’s not as straightforward because our laws favor individual autonomy and rights, including the right to not be involuntarily held unless it’s determined necessary,” said Dr. Christine Moutier, the chief medical officer at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Consequently, families and friends are often at a loss, desperately seeking ways to help an adult who may be depressed and suicidal, but unsure of exactly how to do so. While close confidants may not be able to save a loved one, and should not be expected to solve the problem, many want to offer a hand.